This post has been brewing in my mind and in my heart for a minute, and truthfully, it’s been the reason I’ve decided to change the primary focus of this blog from interracial romance to include both African-American and multicultural romance. The “r” word I wanna briefly touch on is race-the big damn elephant in the room when it comes to not only interracial romance but mainstream romance as well.
More importantly though, I really wanna talk about what I perceive to be the
deliberate bashing of black men that I often read about in some of these IR romance novels. I mean these brothas are portrayed as if Satan himself birthed him the way they do these sistas so dirty. Then she meets Mr. White Savior who rides to the rescue to save her from her brutish, black ex. I literally want to SCREAM when I come across stories like this!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I get it-to an extent. The ex has to be a horrible person who has hurt this woman beyond repair, but damn, when I read some of these stories, my immediate question is often, “Who hurt you?” As in you, the author. What kind of message does this send? Or am I personally reading to much into this? Some may think so, but I be feeling some type of way when I read this mess…
The other thing that makes me wanna go into orbit is this colorblind sentiment I often read about. Noooooooooooooooooooooope. I do not subscribe to it, because personally, to tell me when you look at me you do not see color is to deny me of my humanity and all the struggle that black people have endured in this world, but I digress…Now, I understand this may all be a sincere attempt (or even your true philosophy) to be politically correct, but let’s stop pretending not to see race when we’re reading and writing these stories.
Isn’t the fact that this man is white (or non-black) one of the main attractions? Isn’t it the fact that this man’s skin is so vastly different from ours part of the appeal? I’m not saying it’s the only reason the dude is the end all, be all, but c’mon, if his skin tone weren’t a factor, then why is there a whole genre called interracial romance? Instead of “When I see you, I don’t see color?”, can we be like, “Yeah, I’m black, you’re white, I’m feeling your vibe, I acknowledge our differences, and it’s one of the things that I love about us so let’s not trip over it”? While you may not “see” color, everybody else and they mama sure will…and will remind you of it too!
Also let me state that these are my opinions, and I speak only for myself. I know nothing will change, but I had to talk about it…