Monday Musings: Talking Books Are Not For Me

Trust me, I have tried. And I’ve tried, but when I listen to an audiobook, after ten minutes, it becomes

I know many of you love audiobooks because I’ve seen you gushing over them on Twitter and Facebook. “Oh, they’re so convenient.” “I listen to them on my commute to work.” “I clean the house while listening to my audiobook.” “It’s hands-free ‘reading’.” Ok, sold, dammit! Y’all legit had a sista wet wanting to get her hands on some audiobooks, so I goes to Amazon and immediately sign up for Audible at the insane price of $14.99 a month.

Initially, I thought the $14.99 a month was a “subscription” service, like Kindle Unlimited, where you can listen to so many books at a time like K.U., but nooooooooooo. That $14.99 month earns you one credit that can be used toward the purchase of an audiobook. Hol’ up! One book?! Son! They got me all the way fucked up, but you know what? I sign up anyway because I know my friends won’t steer me wrong.

I’m on Audible, and for some reason, I am immediately overwhelmed. I don’t know why when I can easily handle an Amazon page filled with book suggestions with my eyes closed, one arm tied behind my back, and three fingers bound together with duct tape. What do I choose? Well, let me tell you: The romance category unequivocally sucks monkey balls! Ain’t hardly none of my faves have audiobooks available, and the ones who do, I’ve either already read the actual book or don’t have ones I’m interested in listening to. So, I decide to check out some self-enhancement books.

I got through a little less than half of it. Nooooope.

Five months, five credits, and seventy-five dollars later …

Yeah, I’m done.

I honestly tried. To the tune of $75.00, I tried. It’s just not for me. One, I’m a wordsmith, not a listenersmith. Two, I am the most easily distracted person on the planet. Unlike music, which is melodious and soothing, listening to a talker in my ears is like listening to the annoying buzz of an insect, no matter how entertaining the story may be. I literally began swatting at my ears after so long. It becomes an “audible” nuisance. This is why I can’t get into podcasts either (Although, I’m forcing myself because there are a few that I really want to listen to.)

So, all my audiobook junkies, what is the secret? Do I need to change my mindset, or is it just one of those either you is or you ain’t typa deals?


11 thoughts on “Monday Musings: Talking Books Are Not For Me

  1. It’s an either you or are not a liker of audio books. Sometimes the narrator can drag you down as well with a monotone voice. If you give it another go, listen to the sample first to see if you like the narrator.

  2. You are cracking me up! I’m sorry that you didn’t enjoy your audio book experiences. I am one of those lovers of audio books, they keep me entertained while doing stuff I would rather not be doing. I don’t listen to self help books, but I would highly recommend Trevor Noah’s memoir Born a Crime, if you have any extra credits that you are looking to burn up. He’s funny, insightful, and his personality is what made it one of the best audio books that I have ever listened to. Noah was able to make parts of the book, like the examples of the different languages spoken in South Africa, much more engaging than if I had read that section, since I never would be able to make the sounds that accompany the Xhosa language. Have a great week Patrice!

  3. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not for me. Most narrators’ voices are NOT the voice I pair in my head with the character. The narrator just ends up distracting me. And don’t get me started on the emoting spent on the sex scenes. Nope. Big bag of nope. I tried.

  4. LOL, I’m with you I can’t do audiobooks either, but I’ve received credits from authors whose books I loved to listen to the audio version and I LOVED THEM. Probably because the narrator was really badass and fit the character. Also, I missed a lot of sexytimes because I was grocery shopping and then I had to go back and make sure I heard the “good parts.” I don’t like to “multitask” while I should be absorbing a story. A podcast sure, but a book I’m really interested in? Nope. I’ve scooped up a lot of free audiobooks but I can’t see myself ever picking one up just for the hell of it. Who knows when I’ll even get around to listening to the free versions?

  5. I think if the narrator(s) doesn’t pull you in with the voice or voices, then it’s going to be a bust. I’ve tried audio books and enjoyed them for the most part, but I do wish at times that some books would have dual narrators instead of one, could be a money issue, who knows. It would also help if they had a better category for readers, say like more aa romace or more ir romance…

    PS, I think they should keep sex sounds out as well because some folk sound truly uncomfortable doing them, lols.

    Great post!

  6. I think for first timers, you need to listen to a book that you loved reading on audio. And get them from the library. Maryland has a really good audio book selection.

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